Why is it when I am actually being nice, people think 'something wrong' with me? Am I really THAT evil? Lol. Geez, I do have some kindness...somewhere :-)..
It's quite a long time i didn't open my blog until i forgotten my username for a while.. I hv no time for blogging recently, maybe bcoz busy or maybe too lazy...
I would like to share about life.. my life, your life.. our life.. (I'll use bahasa rojak here, well 1Malaysia mah..).. Lately I think, I changed a lot.. Friends who knows me for a very long years (long years for me is 6 years & above).. they know I am gila2, playful, tempered but deep inside me, sentimental & cengeng oso... And I do treat my true friends well & sometimes fight for them if they don't know how to defend themselves.. I remember my coursemate in UiTM before.. But that was before...
I knew, I do hurt my friends too & I do love them too when they r nice to me.. (not a 'hypocrite' nice of coz)... But I think we do hurt each other, we do talk behind our back, we do rite? anyone that so 'angel' & admit they don't talk about others?.. naaa...bullshit.. But I still know my boundaries.. when we hurt, we hv to share wiz our trusty friend rite? It doesnt mean that we spread gossip? or become Ms Know Everything.. My kelompok is so small.. Frankly I don't trust most of d people I work with.. Bcoz of 1 incident that I cant' talk here.. which hurt me badly & this people main kotor.. Say something not nice about me.. Luckily my immediate superior confront me & ask me directly.. So I manage to defend myself & tepis dat molot jahat.. Until now, dunno dajal mana satu yg do this to me... Wakenabeb, but dunno who to turn to.. coz I prefer lone ranger when i work now.. tak tau sepa musuh dlm selimut.. I only trust 1 - 2 friends only who I think I can turn to.. From there, I changed. I want to be positive.. Juz work & dun care abt other business.. but yet, i still hear suara2 sumbang @ sinis eventhough I shut my mouth, I isolated myself.. Dear friends with hati yg busuk or talam dua muka.. I don't care what u do, juz leave me alone coz i've done nothing harm to u all.. ;(
Do I hate my friends? Hell no... I appreciate them only sometimes when they hurt me, my evil side pop out.. & I become so tempered... We cant simply hate people or our friends coz we do hv sweet memories beside the bad memories.. It's easy for me to figure out whether we hate our friends or not.. How?.. When they leaving us.. Few friends have leaving my life here.. The tears do come out.. (my sentimental side,, hehehe).. My 2 ex boss leave, my tears break down. My beloved kak len leave, lagi la teruk.. call her & cry again...uhu~~ maybe bcoz of we did spend some sweet memories before.. another colleague leaving us on august, but I'm so okay.. no feeling at all.. bcoz we never spend sweet memory together.. it's a relieve to me.. finally another colleague leaving us recently.. I tot I'll be fine.. coz I'm not that close to him & definitely not his favorite friend.. But yet.. when i say goodbye, i feel awkward.. & during my drive back home yesterday.. I feel sad & almost breaking d tears again... I guess we do hv sweet memories too.. happy2.. & we do hv perbalahan too.. but dat's life.. mana syok kalo semua indah2 belaka kan.. itu lah namanya asam garam kehidupan.. kalo baik sj, nanti penuhlah syurga kan..hihi
Dear friend, actually I want to congratulate u for moving forward for a betterment.. but maybe i do hv my own ego.. tak terkeluar rasanya nak ckp tahniah.. Congratulate & I know u deserve it.. Dont waste d qualification that u hv.. "The challenges aren't there to stop you...they're there to help you grow" ...
Last but not least, "It doesn't matter what other people think about you or me. The only thing that matters is that you or me are happy with who we are."
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